From The Valley of Vision
Destroy in me every lofty thought,
Break pride to pieces and scatter it to the winds,
Annihilate each clinging shred of self-righteousness,
Implant in me true lowliness of spirit,
Abase me to self-loathing and self-abhorrence,
Open in me a fount of penitential tears,
Break me, then bind me up;
Thus will my heart be a prepared dwelling place for my God…
I ask great things of a great God.
The last few days have been such a roller-coaster.
I have seen God answer two big, bold prayers in a way that only He could.
I have seen God bring healing to brokenness and freedom from lies from the past.
I have hidden from rebel forces, watched them take and shoot hostages, all in a simulation to find out who I am under stress.
I have celebrated a birthday, a day to look at my expectations and my reality and say still, “God is faithful and He is good”.
I have wept at the things and people that I am saying goodbye to, declaring again, “It is worth it”.
Through all of this, God is exposing the icky parts of Sarah, the places in my heart that need to be broken and bound up, healed and redeemed, made vulnerable in order to find freedom. It hurts and I don’t like it, but I want my heart to be a prepared dwelling place for my God, fully surrendered and totally His.