“Waiting is boring. It’s discouraging and worst of all it gives place to schemes. When we see nothing happening we want to make something happen. That’s what Sarah did when she told Abraham to take Hagar and have a baby with her. She had reached the point where the possibility of new life being created inside of her seemed ridiculous. Impossible. Laughable.” (Robin Jones Gunn)
God gave me a dream and a prayer to pray last year. A seemingly impossible dream for the person my sister would marry- my teammate Kristin’s brother Ben. I prayed diligently through the summer until the two of them had the chance to travel to Cambodia together and then I prayed like crazy while they were there.
Beth came home and she was in love. Wow! God had answered at least half of the prayer. We waited and started praying together. But the waiting seemed long and I fought the temptation to “scheme”, to figure out some way to make it happen. There were moments of hope when anything seemed possible, but I wasn’t sure if I was just making it up. There were moments when I said, “Lord, did I get this wrong? If this is what You want then why isn’t anything happening?”
They came to see Kristin and me in Colorado in April, my siblings and Ben. A perfect weekend together of hiking and dining and talking and laughing- seven “siblings” all together. They left and I fell on my knees. “God I am tired of waiting!”
That morning I read Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. I gave all of these hopes and dreams over to Him. I said, “Lord, I give you my heart. Fill it with the desires YOU want to be there”. There was nothing magical in that prayer, but God heard. The very next day there was a text message and a phone call and a random trip to Kearney, and God said, “This is the story that only I could write”. And now three weeks later they are engaged, ready to serve God and advance His Kingdom and model in their relationship the love Jesus has for us.
Waiting is hard. There are prayers I have prayed, dreams in my heart that are still residing there, unanswered. I now ask that God puts HIS desires there and shapes those dreams to match His. In the waiting, I know I can grow. I can be pruned so that when the bloom of hope and answers come, it is more beautiful than I can even imagine. I keep praying and trusting the Almighty God who controls the universe and knows my heart.
“We are held by the One who put these dreams in our hearts. All we can do is wait. He infuses that which appears hopeless with life-giving, resurrection power. He brings the beauty in His time”. (Robin Jones Gunn)