Dreams on the Altar {Velvet Ashes}

I’m humbled and excited to be sharing over at Velvet Ashes today!

This post came out one of the hardest seasons in my life this past spring, when my heart was pretty raw, lonely and hurting. The journey since then has been one of healing, of God softening my stony heart once again. He has shown me the treasures in the darkness. It is still hard actually to think back to those weeks and months but I am glad to see how God has brought me out of them to a stronger place in Him. Maybe sometime I will write more about my experiences and the lessons God has taught me, but not yet. For now, here is glimpse of how the Father’s grace is poured out in the midst of sacrificing a precious dream to Him.
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Dreams on the Altar
by Sarah Hilkemann

Twenty six.

I read it in a Laura Ingalls Wilder book as a girl. The whispers behind gloved hands, the looks of pity for the woman who reached this age without finding a husband. An “old maid” they would call her.

I feared this title. When I celebrated my 26th birthday I wrestled with God. I was in the very beginning of Cambodia preparations, saying yes to this journey and knowing it might cost me a whole lot of things- close proximity to family, ease of life, and perhaps even a dream or two. But I thought to myself, “Even on the field God could provide me a husband, someone with who I could share the journey”. That dream might somehow still be a reality.

So I tucked it away in my suitcase two years ago with my flip-flops and extra vitamins and a heart ready for adventure. The dream stayed there with me through the ups and downs of language school when I didn’t meet a single eligible man (who wasn’t 10 years younger than me anyway). But it wasn’t at the forefront, it just kindled in my heart.

Now I live in a village hours away from other foreigners or even other believers. And the dream of a husband, the expectation that one might still be out there, has exploded to a full-fledged raging fire taking over my heart and sometimes the pain of it feels like more than I can bear. Because God hasn’t answered.

Read the rest of the post on Velvet Ashes by clicking here.

*Picture from www.velvetashes.com

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