If you were to create a list of words to describe me, this one would probably land at the top. While I enjoy getting up in front of people to talk about a cause I am passionate about and catching up over a cup of coffee with a friend is delightful, I can normally be found listening rather than speaking when in a group and will give you my opinion in the minimum amount of words possible.
So why is this the word reverberating around in my brain, finding its way into my prayers these days? Teleport yourself to my dusty border-town street in Cambodia and you might guess why. The little chick that followed his mama around to nest in our flowers pots has grown up into a mangy teenage rooster who likes to try out his cockledoodledoo first thing in the morning. The motorcycles rev, car horns blast, neighbors call out in anger and good will in rapid succession. No, quiet is the last word you would use to describe this place after the karaoke gets going as the night wears on.
But actually, that’s not even the reason I’ve been pondering this word. No, it has more to do with my heart. Much like my surroundings, my heart is anything but quiet. Fear, jealousy, frustration, lonliness; these emotions do battle with joy and some days they win a rather messy victory. A quiet heart, a surrendered and trusting heart feels like a far-off fantasy.
As I look ahead to a fresh calendar and the 12 months of 2016, I know that my life and surroundings probably won’t calm down. There are more transitions looming on the horizon and a whole lot I’m probably thankful I don’t know about yet. I’m sure there will be incredible joys and grand adventures, plans that go according to what I’m hoping and many that don’t. In the midst of it all, I want to learn more about a heart at peace, trusting the Father no matter what. I want to still, to rest in Him in freedom without the self-condemning voices telling me all that I should be doing. I want to delve deeper into what it means to let Jesus lead me by peaceful streams and rest in green meadows, to know in all times a quiet heart.
So while you might grin and wonder why ‘quiet’ should be a lesson I need to learn, I hope that through this year it will not just be a word that describes my lack of vocalization in most circumstances but one that reveals the condition of my spirit, the attitude of my heart.
Lord, give to me a quiet heart
That does not ask to understand,
But confident steps forward in
The darkness guided by Thy hand.
– Elisabeth Elliot
I am linking up with Velvet Ashes as they share about OneWord365, a word each one has chosen or that has been put on their heart as a theme for the next year. Visit their website to read what others are sharing!